I'll Drink To That
by classyblue
Summary: Hephaestion is the life of the party... but can he get over his fear of heights? Series Story: Part I


**A/N:** This is Part I in the series.

* * *

There are happy drunks, mean drunks, sloppy drunks and party drunks. And then there is a very drunk Hephaestion. Normally he doesn't drink very much — and in moderation if he does. Tonight he is drunk, however, and still drinking and will have a horrible hangover in the morning.

He is not worried about that at the moment though — he is just trying to concentrate on remembering how to get off the couch he is sprawled across without falling on his behind in the process. If you ask him why he got drunk tonight, he would not be able to tell you. It might have seemed like a good idea at the time. Don't ask him tomorrow, either — doubtful the answer will be civil and fit for decent ears.

Alexander sat watching the scene before him with an amused smile. Hephaestion did not let his guard down often, but when he did it was a sight to behold. Usually it was Alexander doing all the swallowing and Hephaestion doing the watching. Tonight Alexander was just sipping and enjoying the view.

And what a view it was.

On any given day the man was beautiful, but add "completely uninhibited" to the mix and suddenly he was completely irresistible. The other generals that sat around Hephaestion were enjoying every minute of this, too. They kept filling his cup, catching him when he threatened to topple over and capturing all the hugs and kisses he was freely giving. Not only was he a happy drunk, but he was also an affectionate drunk. If there was ever a chance to be on the receiving side of one of his wonderful kisses, the time was now.

Hephaestion finally managed to figure out the couch and walked, or rather swayed, towards a small stool in the middle of the room. His vision hadn't quite figured out the stool was there but his feet did, so he soon found himself perched on top of the stool wondering how in Hades he ended up there. But more to the point, how was he going to get off?

What followed for the next few minutes would become the subject of conversation for many days, months — indeed, years. For the life of him, he could not step down that huge void to get to the floor again without doing himself great bodily harm. To be perfectly honest, he was to terrified to even try. The six inch step was becoming his undoing.

During his terrifying ordeal, he had, of course, no help from his friends. They where laughing too hard to help him and rolling on that elusive floor themselves. Alexander was crying tears, he was laughing so hard. Hephaestion, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to everything that was going on in the room and was just trying to conquer this insurmountable task.

Finally Cleitus, of all people, came to his rescue. He gently took Hephaestion in his arms and carried him back to the couches around the other generals. Alexander was about to do the rescuing himself but was glad to see one of his friends help Hephaestion instead. It was good to see them finally including Hephaestion, instead of keeping him at a distance like they usually did.

Having realized he was on safe ground at last, and having defeated Mt. Stool, Hephaestion found himself sitting on Cleitus' lap. The numerous cups of wine he had had finally loosened his mind and tongue enough to figure out whose lap he was sitting on. It was none other than his number one nemesis, the diabolical Cleitus. He was not going to lose this chance to tell him exactly what he thought of all of his bullying, teasing and all-around nastiness.

Hephaestion started with his speech but slurred so much that only every other word was recognizable. You didn't have to understand the words to know that he was venting all his frustration of being the brunt of too many jokes. Cleitus, on the other hand, was truly enjoying this speech because the more animated Hephaestion got, the more he wiggled around on Cleitus' lap.

Alexander was watching from across the room and decided Cletius was having way too much fun with Hephaestion. That was "his" body Cletius was taking liberties with. He decided it was time to end the show and get Hephaestion to bed to sleep off some of the hangover he was going to have in the morning.

But Hephaestion decided he needed to get closer to Cletius to hear him better, and scooted around, if that is how to describe what he did, to straddle Cletius' lap. He got inches from his face and brought a wayward finger up for emphasis. So intent was he on what he was saying, he failed to notice the hands of his captive sneaking up under his chiton and working their way to his bottom.

About the same time Cleitus grabbed two handfuls of firm buttocks, Alexander arrived.

Pulling Hephaestion into his arms and away from meandering hands, Alexander lead him out of the room amid protest from the other generals. It took a few minutes for Hephaestion to realize that he was being lead somewhere and even longer to figure out by whom.

He started to giggle and planted kisses on his rescuer, whispering what he would like to do with him and to him, describing in lurid detail how he was planning on accomplishing his goals. Alexander was having enough trouble trying to hold them both up, but now he was just having trouble walking at all.

Finally in Hephaestion's room, Alexander led him to the bed and sat him down on the side of it. He went to the door to tell the guards not to let anyone disturb them just as he saw Hephaestion gently slip to the floor gracefully, giggling merrily on the way down. Alexander got him back on his feet and onto the side the bed again. But as Alexander kneeled down to start to take off his sandals, Hephaestion slipped off the bed and took Alexander down with him, puddling them on the floor, both now in the throngs of laughter and uncontrolled mirth. Instead of trying to get back up, they continued to laugh so hard tears cascaded down their faces.

Wine, exhaustion and time finally caught up with both of them and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, Alexander woke up alone on the floor of Hephaestion's room, next to the bed. He heard a moan coming from the other room and hurriedly got up to survey the damage from last night. The sight before him was to be ingrained in his memory forever.

A very naked, beautiful body sat before him on the bed pot, towel over his head and hands holding the towel in place. The sun was shining brightly through the window, lighting up the room. Moans of pure pain emitted from the form.

Alexander very sweetly and very loudly said, "Health to you today, Hephaestion."

The 'health' part of the sentence was hardly out of his mouth when a groan to wake the dead was heard. "Please," was whispered, "not so loud."

When Hephaestion was finally able to take the towel off his head and begin to face the day, he turned to Alexander.

"Did anything exciting happen last night? Did I miss anything?"

"Not a thing, my Beloved. Not a thing."


End file.
